Choice Theory Tenet Three

Choice Theory Tenet Three:
All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems (Symptoms and complaints are the ways people choose to deal with unsatisfying relationships).

In our history of psychotherapy, we have dealt with the problems of individuals.  If you want couples or family counseling, your health insurance company will want an Identified Patient or IP.  

Our difficulties don’t come from inside of ourselves in a vacuum.  If you lived all alone on an island with all of your physical needs satisfied, you would be lonely for human companionship.  The majority of us would.  I rarely work with people in counseling who are dealing with problems that have nothing to do with their relationship with others.  People don’t come to counseling and say, “I feel depressed and it has nothing to do with anyone else.  I have a wonderful family and I had a terrific childhood.”

Most people realize that they have difficulties with the people in their lives, but they don’t always connect that to their feelings.  Once we begin to talk about their relationships, they are able to see this connection.

Many times our physical complaints can be alleviated by changing our thoughts and behaviors in our important relationships.  My understanding is that the majority of headaches are stress related.  If this is so, you have the ability to reduce that stress by choosing different thoughts and behaviors than the current ones you are using.

For more information about Choice Theory, pick up any book by William Glasser, MD.  He’s fun to read and the information is life-changing.

Michelle E. Vásquez, Licensed Professional Counselor
www.womenhelpingothersachieve.com
210-663-9462