Only yell at your spouse if the house is on fire!
"I can't help it; that's just the way I talk." Gilbert Gottfried is the only person I know who talks in a permanent, grating yell. Wouldn't that be annoying if that really were "just the way you talk"?
We were born with a wonderful gift. We have the ability to modulate our voices from a whisper to a scream. Resist the temptation to say you "just talk loud." If your spouse complains that you are always yelling, stop and listen to yourself.
Maybe you're not really raising your voice, but maybe your tone is hostile or sarcastic. Think back and be honest with yourself. These tones and volume are surefire ways to create distance.
Remember, you are on a Growth Path. When people point out things you don't want to hear, stop first before you automatically go on the defensive (and subsequent counterattack). Examine your behavior. Ask yourself what you can improve about your behavior. Your maturity when handling unpleasant feedback about your behavior will help you grow.
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