Stop, think, and restate

Remember "Stop, drop, and roll"? (to put yourself out if you are on fire) Personally, I don't know how well my brain would function if I were on fire. In contrast, my brain functions a lot better if I am having difficulties with a loved one. Some people would disagree with me!

I propose that when in conflict with a loved one, that you "Stop, Think, and Restate." What I mean by this is:

When you want to retaliate with a harsh word, STOP. THINK about the consequences of letting the thought in your head become a verbalization. Before the thought becomes "the spoken word" and therefore, part of your permanent record, so to speak, think about what you'd rather say.

RESTATE what you were about to say in a more constructive way. You could also decide to do what your Mom told you: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything." Maybe practicing silence (judiciously) instead of blurting out whatever comes into your head would be a great change.

However, learn what you CAN say. Silence can turn into the Silent Treatment, and that bodes ill for any relationship. Learn some communication skills. Work with a Relationship Coach to improve your communication skills. Your relationship is worth the time you invest in working on your communication skills!

Michelle

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Michelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPCSan Antonio Relationship Coach, Licensed Professional Counselor
I help people attract the life they want and create the relationships that bring them joy.
210-663-94628107 Broadway, Suite 200, San Antonio, TX 78209
http://www.michellevasquez.com/